Crime Time

Here's your weekly northern suburbs crime report courtesy of the Minneapolis Star Tribune.

Andover

Burglary - Three teens were apprehended while stealing materials from townhouses under construction. One of the teens said he was stealing so he could pay his cell-phone bill. (Broke with no money, but still has a cell phone. Isn't this the story of America right here! And steal from someone else to pay it because you can't afford it, it's their fault you're poor!)

Assault - A guest at a back-yard recreational fire reported that about 2 a.m., the homeowner's spouse asked everybody to leave. When the guest did not get up, the spouse charged at him and tackled him to the ground. (Sounds like a friendly neighberhood gathering)

Blaine

Theft - A resident reported that her Glamour Shots photos, valued at $295, were stolen. (Glamour Shots cost $295?????)

Theft - A customer at a gas station reportedly paid for $10 in gas, then pumped $14.32 worth and drove off laughing and waving. (Don't draw attention to yourself of anything!)

East Bethel

Theft - A wallet containing $700 was stolen from an unlocked vehicle. (If you're stupid enough to have $700 cash in your wallet and leave your car unlocked you probably deserve it.)

Ramsey

Theft - A caller reported that several guns had been stolen from his father's home. He said he thinks the theft occurred about three years ago. (I'm guessing the robbers have a good head start.)

St. Anthony

Noise Complaint - A caller complained of noise from a neighbor's apartment about 1 a.m. Police could hear loud voices and thumping from down the hall, and when they arrived at the door, they determined that it was a professional wrestling match on TV with the volume turned way up. The resident was cited for violating the city's noise ordinance. (Must have been a good match!)