Thursday, April 30, 2009

Highlights of the Lecture

I somehow missed President Messiah's teleprompter reading last night. I really wanted to catch it, but seeing how he's making a monthly prime-time appearance I'm sure I'll get to listen to his lecture again. But I'm guessing I can sum up what he had to say:

1) After 100 days in office I have shown that I am the greatest president in United States history.

2) I have solved all the world's problems, but there are still many things to be done thanks to the evil George W. Bush. Swine flu is the latest problem that I will cure.

3) I have issued apologies on behalf of the evil United States to almost every country in the world and many dictators. There are still a few dictators I need to meet with and to apologize too and perhaps share book reviews with.

4) Did I tell you we got a dog?

5) Isn't my family beautiful? We're trying to land a few more magazine covers.

6) We have now added Sen. Arlen Specter to the Democrat party and once Al Franken joins the Senate we will have total control of Congress and the political world.

7) Did I tell you we got a dog?

1 comment:

Agent Michael Scarn said...
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