And Now We Know

A pressing question the last week has been why Matt Damon didn't attend the Messiah's inauguration. We all needed to know this because Matt Damon is such an intellectual and provides us with very important advice on who to vote for and how policy should be dictated. I mean how else would we have known what Sarah Palin was all about until Damon spoke up and said electing her was like Disneyland (or some nonsense like that).

Well it turns out that Damon couldn't get free tickets to the inauguration and that he would have had to pay $25,000 for tickets. So he stayed home to watch. He probably realized he needs to hang on to his money now that his taxes are going to go up under the Messiah.